These last few weeks have been really, really difficult. My poor husband. He's already stretched thin between work, grad school, and the professional choir that he's in that rehearses a full weekend every month. Add to that a snippy, grumpy, mobility limited wife who usually handles the meal planning and cooking and splits the rest of the housework, and he's had a huge burden added to his already too full plate.
I've also had, in the last three weeks, five nights where I've gotten less than four hours of sleep due to over-thinking and worry. The blame for that is squarely on my foot. I have had a lot of anxiety about the reintroduction of weight, and especially how soon I'll be able to return to work comfortably. If I was thinking, when I had my regular visit with my doc a few weeks back, I would have talked with her about this and seen what my options were. At the very least, now that my cast is off and I'm a little more mobile, I'll be setting up a haircut (because nothing says steps forward like a new do) and a full body massage asap. Maybe I'll go all out and get a mani pedi while I'm at it.
What is Frustrating - Why Hello, Calf Muscle. And Oh Yeah, Stupid Shin.
This morning was my first allowed introduction of weight. I was really anxious about it, I think understandably, and while my pain levels are certainly up I was surprised that the biggest problem was my calf. Obviously expecting to take full strides today was unrealistic, but I was really surprised that after four steps I felt a major pull on the muscle, to the point where I had to lay down for a bit. I am not a patient person, and I am SO anxious to be truly back on my feet. Slowly but surely, I know.
The other issue is still my shin. As I gain more independence and move away from needing my iWalk 2.0, it won't be an issue so at this point its grin and bear it, but the pegleg and my walking boot are not compatible. Yesterday I made a trip to the mall. I parked in the closest handicap spot, walked inside and past four stores, and wandered through one shop. When I got into the dressing room, this is what my shin looked like what you can see on the left.
Not pretty, and definitely not comfortable. I really love the iWalk, but since getting the walking boot my activity level has dramatically decreased, 100% because of this.
What I'm Looking Forward To - Return to Work
This is the same as two weeks ago, because two weeks ago I really thought I was ready. Unfortunately, it seems that I've got two more weeks still to go. After introducing weight today, I can see why that's necessary, but I am really ready to get back. I work for a small non-profit organization and I'm the only person who serves my particular function. I hope they're getting by, but I also hope they're missing me! I'm doing some work on my own, but its difficult to feel like I'm doing a good job when I'm taking the pain meds.
What is Working - Pain Management
I have gotten a lot better at learning where the end of my leash is, and anticipating flare-ups. I got caught a little bit the day after the Super Bowl, which we hosted at our house, but I am much better at spreading out things I need to do so they don't cause a flare, and if I do have one I have a pretty good system in place to manage it.
What I've Accomplished - Two Whole Months!!!!
Woohoo! Today is two months out from my surgery, and I made it. I've followed instructions, I've weathered holidays and snowstorms that left me stuck inside for days on end, but I made it. Now we just get walking again and we'll be on our way to training for my Disney half marathon!
This Week's Goal - Take Full Strides
I know that slow and steady does win the race (even if its boring and frustrating) so if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen, but I'd really like to be at a point where I can take a full sized step at the end of the week. This right now seems to largely hinge on my calf muscle stretching back out, so I'll definitely be working on some gentle stretches!
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